Originally Posted by
byebyealcohol 
I sadly found that I couldn't. I'm a wife and a mother but I am also an alcoholic. For years I was blissfully unaware of this fact but the grace of God has shown me different. Last year I stayed sober for five months and I must say I was at my happiest. No more mornings of self loathing or guilt. No more waking up telling myself that today is the day but superficially meaning it and painfully knowing that. I slipped so I'm back, I've read the books including AA, I have a strong faith in God but ya know what else I have? FEAR!!! I'm soooo scared of being the odd one that can't drink or the friend that everyone tip toes around nor can I begin to imagine vacations, graduations ect. Without the poison. I feel like I am trapped but I am ready and determined. I just need all the help I can get and came back here because of how awesome this sight was for me before. Thanks for listening
I had the same fears. And there were things that would have proved really difficult at the very beginning. So I did the absolute minimum as far as testing myself.
There was a first everything. First airport by myself, first hotel room, first vacation poolside, first bbq. I had all the same fears.
I am a wife and mom too. What I didn't anticipate was all the upside. No more watching the clock until the afternoon school stuff was over, no more waiting for playdates to end because I wanted to be responsible, no more walking down to a kitchen that looked like a bomb hit it the morning after a party, no more finding brownie mix with a spoon in it on an end table in the morning (ok, that still happens), no more calling the husband in the am trying to feel out if I did anything I would be embarrassed about, no more dragging bottles out for the recycling guy on Thursdays after husband left for work, no more cleaning ladies asking me what I wanted to do with the huge jug of Absolut sitting in the middle of the cleaning supplies (oh, I use that to clean windows….), no more Christmas Eves trying to wrap gifts with one eye open….honestly, I could write a novel that would make Dostoevsky look sparse with words…..
Totally get it. But major events are usually more spread out than we realize, and we start to understand that people actually go and pay attention to the food. And it is nice to be somewhere and not be preoccupied with how to get another drink without looking obvious. And know where your shoes and earring are in the morning.
I think all of us have been there but sharing helps me a lot. It helps to know you aren't alone and that these feelings are totally normal.