Hi,
I don't see anyone beating you up. People are being honest with you. You are not new to this. I remember writing something months ago to you when you were going to therapy or getting help for yourself when he was going downhill then, you made a realization about the negative effects to your older kids about growing up with his alcoholism. I was happy for you to break through and see that. I remember you didn't like what I wrote, and that is okay. But, I was really happy for you to see what's up.
These ladies are just helping you, not trying to hurt you. Sometimes when we hear something that stings, it is because we are not ready to accept the reality of our situation and are still trying to manipulate a certain outcome even though we might not realize it at the time.
You still have a 7 year old at home. You made the realization that AH's alcoholism hurt your older kids. What about the younger one? Do you think he is exempt for the pain of living with an A? What can you do different, since you know better now?
I am on your side. If you want to brainstorm ideas, I am willing to help.