Thanks for that post Adna,
I was thinking about how I will put some value on the end result of my efforts , vrs the effort itself. Like with a project for example , if the project turns out really good , I'll think , "
wonderful " , ...but if the result is not so great , I'll think , "
that sucks"
But I maybe looking at it all wrong. I'm thinking the good faith effort on both counts is equally good, and the only difference may be my expectations ,. ...which is tied to my ego, ....sort of by definition.
I read years ago , that my expectations are inversely balanced with my serenity. Like one of those counterweight scales. The ones that see-saw. So if my expectations are high , my serenity goes low. But low expectations = more serenity.
Soli, .... you may be like me , ...have these super high expectations of myself. Maybe we should think about lowering those some , ....think about the effort , the good faith effort we're putting in staying sober and moving forward, ..........that may be more healthy to focus on.
I was reading something earlier , where a girl said she was looking at her progress today totally differently , than in the past . Today she was "
looking at what she'd accomplished , versus her old way of focusing on what she hadn't accomplished. "
It helped me a lot , because I'm the same way , always focused on what I didn't get done , ...versus a completely new way of looking at it , ...what I
did actually get done.
For me , it circles right back to the expectations thing . I tend to expect these super human efforts, ....for some reason. It drives my serenity in the dirt , too.
well , enough of this pondering ,
...... my brain's started to cramp already !??!
I'm thinking I'd
like that hot dog that fell through the grill . I ain't scared a no charcoal touchin' my dog.
