Originally Posted by Soliloquy

You guys talking about self forgiveness makes me kind of jealous. I beat myself up every single day but I believe that I deserve it. I know what is right and what I could do to make myself happy, and I don't do it. I'm the only one to blame for that and I am too angry to even consider forgiving myself. I'm not talking about huge mistakes or anything, just every day living, down to what I eat and my sleep habits. I feel like I suck at life. I hope to one day get to a place where I have few enough shortcomings to consider forgiveness. But in order to do that I would have to make changes, and some of the things I hold a grudge against myself for are actually part of who I am. Like my shyness. I was born that way but I hate myself for it. I guess maybe I need to focus more on self acceptance, rather than forgiveness. Wow sometimes typing out feelings really does help sort the out. I definitely do need to work on my confidence too. Mrsbee your garden looks awesome and I love the little critter statue. There were some other posts I wanted to comment on but I forgot. I've been pretty pissed off and depressed the past couple of days. I watched a Memorial Day special last night and it made me really upset and mad at the way the world is. I saw a balloon being released into the sky with the words "We love you Daddy", written in a child's handwriting. It makes me cry right now just thinking about it. Let me tell you...I'm a sight right now. I'm walking on the treadmill, watching Girl Code, typing on my iPad, crying haaha well not anymore. I'm laughing at myself now. But seriously, Memorial Day is really pulling at my heart strings this year. Good news: dad said mom was opening her eyes today. She is stable. Everyday she gets through is a good day. I might cut off my fingernails and play my electric for the first time in a million years.