He wants me around when he wants me but still do what he wants and actively drink. I know he's very confused and all over the place with his uncle dying and he doesn't know how he feels except he wants to drink! I told him today that I will support him and his family at the funeral tomorrow make desserts and organise the food after the funeral so his mum doesn't need to worry but after tomorrow there will be no more contact except about the kids until he has figured things out. I will give him time to sort himself out but I will focus on myself and my kids.
Last night and today was a wake up call as I realised just how disposable my AH sees me and how unimportant I am to him. I have been so focused on whether he's in love with me and wants his future with me as I thought that gave me hope he would sort himself out but he has told me today he doesn't know how he feels about me if he was in love with me how could he hurt me this way! I realised it doesn't matter how he feels he's not here and his actions show me alcohol is more important to him. Only he can sort himself out I need to focus on me and my kids they are my priority.