Originally Posted by
Confused39 
I suppose I'm desperate to help him because I love him and i have for 18 yrs!!! I want him to work through this and come home. I have always helped him through everything.
The hard truth is that the more you try to help him, the further he'll withdraw. You can't crowd most men, and if you step right back he just might begin to place more value on you. If at all possible (I know it's hard!), try to be less available. Currently he's pushing you back, but if he feels like some company he comes around to your place. He's setting the agenda.
I've seen it happen with friends; they get no respect until they start being less available and more hard-hearted.