I am glad you are all finding success. I dabbled in my share of everything. Its funny how when it comes down to it everyones bodies respond different.. both to the drugs as well as withdrawal. Most recently I was prescribed morphine 30mg every 3hrs... I had to take more because that wasn't nearly enough... that would probably knock out a small horse :P I also question the condition of my internal organs. For awhile I was on Percs and I know without a doubt in my mind I took way more then recommended for tylenol... Aside from all of that I was shocked I didnt o/d long ago. Crazy to think about how the addict mind justifies things... Why I ever thought it was a good idea to take 6 30 mg morphine pills at a time or 10-12 percs on top of handfuls of tramadol.... Ugh... disgusting. The thing for me is I have chronic pain... and although I have tried just about everything else my doc can think of for relief nothing ever works like the pain meds... I fear that once my sure fire reason to stay clean is gone I will struggle. In the end I was a functioning addict (I am sure a lot of people say that) But with my pain issues I am a better person/mother/wife/friend/etc when I am not laid up in pain. Hopefully by the end of the year I can have a surgery to try repair some of my damage. Scary thing is my doctor even said there is no way to know if the surgery will actually help the pain. Ugh. Anyways I am rambling...just wanted to say I am proud of everyone that is taking on opiate addiction and recovery. No one ever warned me when I got my first script from my doctor that I would be an active member on an opiate addiction site 3 years later... :/ flaw in the system maybe? Why would I think at age 23/24 that the doctor I trust with my life was giving me something that would have a steel grip on my life forever and for always. I know it will never go away.. I know that I will always be able to justify one more, I know right off the bat that the second my doc prescribes me something my addict brain tells me that I need at least double-triple the dose to start working... I know that I will never be able to escape that and it bums me out that I had no idea what I was getting myself into.It wasnt like I decided one day to go buy some pills from the guy on the corner... I put my trust and faith in a medical doctor. Please dont think I am dodging blame on my addiction... But really in the begining I was clueless.
Ugh anyways keep up the good work everyone..
And good luck snow.