Originally Posted by
snowflake74 
Mamahawk if you can do this, I can. You are so inspiring. I am stocked with Immodium and for sleep what works for me is "sleep aid" which is just a double dose of benedryl (diphenhydramine). It's never NOT knocked me out like a light bulb. My resolve is strong, but I know that's easy to say when you're feeling good. But I need to reclaim my life back and this is the week for me to do it. I have not made it any easier for me this week with my failed taper plan, but it doesn't mean I still can't be successful. I might be posting on here at an annoying frequency - I ask permission ahead of time to saturate myself on this site in the next few weeks because you good people are all I have. Any victories I (hopefully) claim in the upcoming days, I can't share with the people who are actually in my life. I have to somehow pretend that I have not gone through hell and am (hopefully) on my way back. I will need to rely on the kindness and charity of you all for strength. Thank you all ahead of time.
Snowflake,
SR is a good place to land your bruised behind after your trial by fire starting on Friday, regardless of the results. I would just ditto everything Marcus said above.
Your posts are not so much annoying as just a reminder of the paths we have already tread -- meaning those of us who tried and tried to taper and did not succeed the first time around. My first name on SR was not for nothing (FT = failedtaper). We want to root for you, but we see you setting traps for yourself, with the only way to rescue yourself being the drug.
Over the past few days, I've seen your posts change from a guy with resolve and shouting over his "addict brain," to the "addict brain" mostly the one doing the talking.
I support anyone on this site using a method that works for them. Having said that, I tend to err on the side of "tough love" and just really want to kick your butt!
If this go around does not work for you, I might suggest the Secular Connections part of SR, where you will find a different approach called AVRT. It's pretty straightforward and along the lines of what I already told you: either you are either an opiate user (substance abuser), or you are not. It is the self identification of such that you have not reached yet. Until you do, you may have paused your use, but you are just waiting for your next dose.