It took me a long time to realize that alcoholics have lost the power of choice to drink. I am an ex drinker. I decided to quit and I did. Reading about, and understanding alcoholism has helped me to understand that the simple desire to quit isn't enough for an alcoholic. There are neccessary changes that they have to be willing to make, or they will be driven to drink again. Once they begin drinking, they develop a thing called the phenomenon of craving.
Not being an alcoholic, I never experienced that and didn't know what it was. I could drink when I wanted, stop when I wanted, and decide how much I wanted. An alcoholic can't. They can never be sure when they will get drunk. Something in their brain kicks in when they drink that creates a compulsion, a thought which overcomes all thoughts, to continue regardless of the consequences. It is an illness.
Reading AA literature helped me to understand alcoholism and recovery from that illness. Though AA has been very successful in helping alcoholics to recover, and overcome their desire to drink again, it isn't the only method. But help is neccessary. Fighting an illness with will power doesn't work very well. Try fighting the flu with will power.
Realizing that I don't have the disease, and the alcoholics in my life do, has helped me to know that they can't handle their drinking in the way that I can. They need help from people who have successfully recovered from the disease. The good news is that I can practice the same form of recovery in my own life, and thus encourage it in those around me. But I can't force them to want something if they don't. Hugs, Magic