I know what you mean... I have not had financial control for many many years despite having a good job, and my money always ran out well before the end of the month and I was always at the top of my large overdraft.... BUT ...
as one of my habits has been to completely avoid looking at my finances at all, it was an incredibly wonderful shock to me at the end of last month when (FORCED by circumstances and my partner to look at my bank balance) I found I was in the black. AT THE END OF THE MONTH!!!! This has been unheard of for the last twenty years (or more). I was astounded at how much difference living sober has made. I suppose it all adds up (money on booze; money buying stuff off e-bay when drunk; taxis home when you can't walk; takeaways when too drunk or hungover to cook).
I promise you - things can only get better financially while you are sober and can make wise choices and keep some control on things. Maybe try reflecting on it with the serenity prayer and think about what you can't control, and the things that you can control, and only use energy on the latter.
Wishing you luck and strength x