My AB and I got into an argument over the weekend and I finally told him everything that I was feeling and needed to get out to him.
He didn't realize how much the lying/drinking was hurting us and me. I've gone from being so supportive and encouraging to telling him straight out how I feel.
I told him that I had had it. I couldn't go on with the lies. That I would support his recovery, but not when he lies about his drinking to me. I know, from being a drinker in my past (sober 11 yrs), that lies go with the booze.
But, I can handle him telling me "yes, I did drink" better than I can hearing "no, I didn't".
He, for more than 10 yrs now, has hid the fact that his drinking was a major problem from not only himself, but his family. He didn't want to admit it. He wanted everybody to think that he was "fine and doing well" despite the fact that he lost his ex wife and 3 daughters and kept getting in trouble with the law. He always made excuses and blamed it all on everything/anything else.
Yesterday, on his own accord and decision, he went to his family and broke down and told them that he was indeed an alcoholic. His parents were shocked. They didn't understand, but by the time the night was over, AB had told them everything. His whole heart and the whole truth about his drinking and how far it had come. When he drank, why he drank, how he hides it........etc. For thee very first time,.......he felt two things:
1) Totally being vulnerable and exposed
2) having a huge burden lifted from his shoulders.
They all were crying and hugging and it was a very emotional time for them all, but the truth is finally out and now they can work on this, as a family, together.
I'm so proud of my AB. That took some major courage to do. Something he could never do before. He still has a long road ahead, but he's starting to really think about the consquences that drinking has cost him and what he can handle and what he can't. He also turned down a promotion at work today because he knew that it would be added stress and at this time, he knew that that would hinder his recovery. He knows there will be more promotions in the future, but that for now.....he needs to work on his recovery.
So, this is a big step for him. They've been coming slowly and sometimes, he relapses. But, it seems like he's making alot more progress than not. And, the drug he is on, canpral, is starting to work for his craving of the alcohol. He's been on it for about 3 weeks now.
So, the last couple of days, there has been alot of Hope. And, we're hanging onto that SO tightly.
