You said in one of your first posts:
My fear is that if I stay with him, I will not even know who I am in a few years. It seems like a little bit of me is gone each time this happens.
When you are on your own, you seem to be very clear that you've been on this merry-go-round for too long and that you're done. When you talk to him, all of a sudden you're not so sure.
In which situation do you think the real
you is in control of your thinking?