asm---It doesn't matter if the word is "alcoholic" or not. If the drinking is a problem for you--then it is a problem. Many alcoholics go to the grave and declare that alcohol is not a problem--that they can control it--and that they are NOT an alcoholic.
I suggest that you put the reasons that you want to leave the marriage on an index card and tuck it in your pocket o r bra. It is easy to become overwhelmed and unable to "think" when confronted by someone who is trying to convince you to stay with the status-quo when you don't want to. Having your reasons and "talking points" helps. It is often their goal to "confuse" you--overwhelm you--and get you off balance.
You don't require his permission or agreement for the decisions you make for your own well being. You just feel like you do. He would like you to believe that you do. But, you dont!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You might do a search (blue bar at the top of the main F&F of alcoholics page---"10ways to tell when and addict or alcoholic is full of crap". Posted by Cynical One. Excellent reading for you, right now!!
If you can't find it--ask for help and we will assist you.
dandylion