You found an apartment - great news ! Do you like it ok ? Are you going to take things out of the house to furnish it or buy new?
Today I think your focusing a lot on your wifes needs and wants, but some of it sounds in conflict with what you need for yourself in this moment. Dont react until your sure its follows your authentic feelings, and will cause you no harm emotionally.
I like the idea of helping your kids do something nice as a gesture, but your separating, been called a whole slew of curse words, asked to leave your home. I think buying her a nice card was appropriate for your show of emotions. Fathers day is in a month, wonder what you will get?
Like with the rubber-band. Its none of her business how you channel your thoughts or what tool your using. If she sits in the session with a scowl on her face you have to accept it right? You do what you need to do to keep the feelings from escalating within yourself and view it as a positive accomplishment for you ! There are other methods but what you do is YOUR CHOICE.