Stupidity. I couldn't handle it the first time. I don't know why I thought I could the second. I was actually at a point where saying no was quite easy. But I love the taste of beer and I missed it. Surely one won't hurt, right? I thought I was in control. And I did control it....for a little while. But one beer doesn't cut it for very long and gradually over time, my drinking esculated. And I was as bad as I ever was, popping the top as soon as I made it through the door from work....or as soon as I got out of bed on the weekends.
If you've ever gone home for lunch on a workday and stared at the refrigerator debating whether or not to have a drink, and it actually sounds like a good idea, you understand my situation.