Congrats on day 8! Your doing a great job fighting that AV. Keep going. It gets quieter I promise.
You have to stop beating yourself up over your past mistakes. You can't go back and fix them. Accept them as a learning experience and forgive yourself. Alcohol is going to do nothing but lure you into bed for a good time and then punish you for days. You know that. Alcohol wants to keep you chained up as it's possession and keep you miserable. Your better than that. Stay strong. I ruined a marriage to an amazing woman several years ago from my drinking and it broke my heart. She didn't deserve that. It was too late for me to try to save the marriage because she just flat fell out of love with me. I don't blame her. A few years later I got remarried to my current wife who is an amazing soul. I started to see my drinking here lately spiral out of control so I decided I was going to be damned if I ruined another marriage and broke someones heart so I quit. So here Iam on day 10 and never going back. So take those mistakes that you can't go back and fix and make them work in a positive manner for you. When you use those mistakes that way it makes you feel on top of the world! Please hang in there. It DOES get better.