White Lies
Glad I skipped a lot of this malarkey by Retiring at 48 from the High Tech World. I would not have coped well with some of these situations. Didn't have as many coping tricks in my Bag way back then.
A few ideas...
1. I just bought some 'Sparkling Grape Juice' to drink while Da Wife drinks Champagne for a Birthday Celebration. Fine by me. Actually, the smell of Champagne and Red Wine now smacks me upside the Head. Really strong, and no attraction after >4 months now on the Lifetime Wagon.
2. Keeping my Mobile in my Pocket [or in Belt Clip], I've been known to fake a lil twitch and pretend I just got an important Call while my Mobile was on 'Vibrate'. I 'read' the important fake Message and recite a fake reason to leave; one that I've rehearsed in advance. We used to have Rental Properties, and some faked issue with one of those was always a rehearsed option. Both my Parents [and ILs] were in a Nursing Home, so a faked issue to do with them was another handy excuse.
3. If you can, attend for ~1/2 hour and then hit the Road using any excuse provided above. A Promotion is not worth compromised Sobriety, but perhaps there's a 'Win - Win' solution possible. The operative word is 'if'.
In an ideal World, these Folks need to get with the Program and expand the Drink and attendance options offered you into this Century.
I continue to decline Wine Tastings and Dinners at local Wineries. This caused some Marital 'blips' at first, and caused me to pull out of a 4-some where my Wife's good Gal Pal and Hub make their own decent Wine. She's a binge_ing Wino and Pot Smoker who offered to not open the Wine when I'm around. Yah, like that solves anything. It's all polite Social Fraud to then pretend to have 'clearance' to invite my Wife to some Bender w/o me. After one such dreadful Dinner ~1 month into Sobriety where this Host Gal was smashed, this part-Scottish Mule dug in his Hooves and refused any more such 'Socializing' until a much later time [if ever]. Just stick Bamboo Shoots under my Fingernails instead. That would have been more fun.
I guess we sometimes have to send Employers and our Social Network clear messages about who we now are.