patricia68

A friend invited me to a wine tasting party...

A few moms from my son's class, wine tasting, and someone will be selling some of those fancy gourmet treats...sounds like a good time, but I think I'm going to stay home instead...

-Too early in my recovery to be so close to a bottle of wine
-Even if I feel strong to decline I know I will be hating everybody because they can drink and I can't!
-How boring it is to watch a group of ladies getting drunk when you are sober, right?

Anyway, I thought I'd share my thoughts

The Universe surely has a twisted sense of humour sometimes...

Badger4

Good choice! I would guess this is a choice many of us had or will have to make.

Anna

I think that making the choice to avoid this situation is showing how much you care for yourself and your recovery.

Lenina

Patricia, I have a wine tasting thing for work coming up and I'm a bit nervous. Not about not tasting but thinking about opting out if I can. I just had a small promotion at work and don't want to bag out on mandatory joy. LOL. seriously, I am thinking about how I can avoid going. It's after a day of training/office work into dinner. if it was just dinner with wine nd drinks, I wouldn't worry as I have my act down pretty well.

I bring my wn bottled water, have my wine glass removed at table and leave early pleading fatigue, paperwork or study. It works!

if anyone has ideas on how to get around the event gracefully, Id like to know strategies.
love from Lenina

ScottFromWI

Sounds like a wise choice to me. I have found that now that I've gotten some sobriety under my belt, I am ABLE to attend events where alcohol is around, but honestly there is really no reason to attend some of them. A wine/beer tasting would be a perfect example - i'm sure I could sit through one, but why on earth would I even consider it? I don't drink - and it's an activity exclusively designated for drinking. I would certainly attend a birthday/holiday/graduation party where alcohol was SERVED, but not where alcohol is the sole purpose of the event.

freshstart57

.

ScottFromWI

No strategy is needed, just gracefully decline the invitation. No reasoning is required other than saying no thanks.

patricia68

I plan on having a massive migraine that day...not very graceful I know!

Lenina

Scott, this is what I usually do for the after work stuff. I have six and a half years and I won't jeopardize that. I just got notice of this Saturday and I may have to decline my promotion and a nice raise. I may have a quiet work with the event organizer.
This isn't just the socializing aspect of my work, that I can handle fine. Right now I thinking pleading headaches. I have been having optical migraines and everyone knows this so it wouldn't be a lie. Drinking not even an option for me. learning part of the product pack is necessary. I just need to figure how the graceful way.

love from Lenina

ReadyAtLast

I think you're doing the right thing not going.

Even at 17 months sober I wouldn't go to a wine tasting event. Work events where alcohol is present -that's different Lenina as there is a work reason te be there.

Just a wine tasting with the girls though-I'd give it a miss.

jkirk

This is a no brainer, don't go. Also, if they are selling anything, to decline is not rude...

ScottFromWI

Just to clarify - are you suggesting that attendance at a wine tasting party as a participant is MANDATORY by your employer to receive a promotion and a raise? Or is your job actually running the wine tasting party itself?

Lenina

Scott, it's part of a training thing. I am not involved with running the event. I'm not drinking for my job. in fact, it's in our Ethics that there is no drinking on the job. I do have to attend the event as part of the training. sitting in the back of a room and taking notes is one thing, actually having to taste, out alcohol in my body is another that I won't do. can't do.

I will talk to the event planner and my boss. see if there's an accommodation I can get. push goes to shove, I'll decline. And then work off the resentment of losing $700 a month and the promotion perks.

And then I'll offer it up. Life goes on. but I will be annoyed. LOL

Love from Lenina

anykey

just say you are watching your blood sugar. Bring a zip lock bag and load up on cheese. Get yourself about $25 worth of cheese.

patricia68

That's a good one

Or that you are being tested for diabetes.
That you are on antibiotics for some dental work.
That you are on painkillers because you hurt your back at the gym.
That you are being tested for high blood pressure.
That you suspect you have an ulcer.

Hope it helps. Good luck Lenina!

Tang

My manager's manager just gave me a case of wine as a reward for running a show. Not the same thing as your situation. We had our quarterly meeting at a wine bar (mandatory attendance). Quite frankly I'm getting sick of people's ignorance towards people with alcohol problems. Grrr.

soberclover

I have almost 1 1/2 years and it isn't the kind of event that I would go to. It just isn't the right environment for this recovering alcoholic.

ScottFromWI

I see - sorry, I misunderstood. If you are required by the company to attend to get your promotion, they HAVE to make an accomodation for you. Discussing it with your supervisor sounds like a good idea, glad you plan to do that.

Lenina

you guys! thanks so much!

Tang, yes it's very annoying but is much better than it used to be. I remember when it was really frowned on to not guzzle up at dinners and events. things have gotten easier. It's more acceptable to bag out if done politely. I am good at "show and go"! LOL. stop by with water bottle in hand, do a circuit of the room, say hi and smile a bit and then beat it! LOL

love from Lenina

Carlotta

Just tell your supervisor and the organizer that you do not drink and leave it at that. No need to explain anything.
They have to tread lightly with that one re: civil rights. If they decline promotions on the basis of someone not drinking, they are potentially discriminating against Muslims, Quackers and a bunch of other people whose religion forbids alcohol and they are begging to be slammed with a lawsuit.