EmmyG, I cannot tell you how many times I have been in your place. My children are small, so I have no choice but to have persevered through many sicknesses at the cost of getting sicker and sicker. My AH gets annoyed when I'm sick or if a family member has died...I'm not sure why they don't comfort and take care especially when we give so much of ourselves. For so long I've taken it personally, I must not be good enough, pretty enough, interesting enough, enough, enough, enough....or why would he reject me when I most need him? Do you feel that way?
From an outside perspective, you sound like a wonderful person who has nothing to do with his actions. I, too, have lived without bday and MD gifts. It hurts. No matter what, it hurts. No matter how long it's gone on, it kills. I went so far as to say "I don't want anything tangible, just love."
I don't think it matters what we do. I am green as grass to this & all these realizations, so all I can do is relate and say you are not alone
. Please try to get yourself well - it's tough, though, I know. Pm me if you need a shoulder
.