Hi Fletch,
I understand the feelings of guilt about deplorable things done while in a drunken state.
Im in a huge black hole and it seems like i'll never climb out of it.
I just don't think i'll ever have inner peace again. I does not seem like I can move past my drinking days.
Maybe it's a blessing in disguise that you not move past your drinking day memories too soon. I know from my own experience that I don't ever want to forget where I've been with alcohol abuse because it reminds me that I never want to go there again. Inner peace will return as you continue working on your recovery. That peace arrives at different times for all of us, so don't despair. Stay strong!
Val