Originally Posted by GardenMama
I am writing because I know I need a plan when they are back in town. Here is what I know: they can't stay at our house, they have no money and I won't give them any; they will likely be homeless; they are using, but say they want recovery; I have made connections with methadone/suboxone clinics and learned about associated out-patient programs; I want them to embrace this; I want them to stop running; I am worried. It is so painful being the mom of an addict. I know I am not in control of her choices or her life. But still, I am scared and sad.
GardenMama, you know me well enough by now to know I say this with love in my heart. You say YOU need a plan, but sweetie, what I see is your plan for them.
I completely understand how staying with you is not an option, I've been to that rodeo too many times with my own son. But maybe give them your information and make out a list of alternative options...detox, rehabs, out-patient, meetings, free counseling and social services...and give it to her when she arrives. She can connect with any of these, or she can choose to continue to use and live like she is living...but it will help your feeling of guilt for not being an option.
Then...make a plan for yourself. Go to meetings if you have some in your area, read up on boundaries and enforcing them, plan something fun for yourself that has nothing to do with addiction, and just show up and let life happen.
My prayers go out for all of you, I know the pain you feel. May the coming days lead to better roads ahead for all of you.
Hugs from this mama's heart to yours.