I understand your pain and anger. In Al-Anon we are taught to take our part in the situation we are in. We are volunteers, not victims.
Alcoholics act and we react. Does that make them right? No. But blaming has no solution in it. I didn't have to stay in the situation I was in. I have a choice. I chose the 12 steps and working those gave me the freedom and the strength to make my life better, whether the alcoholic continued to drink or not.
For me, stewing in blame leads to self pity and not a lot more. Wanting others to feel sorry for me gives me an excuse why I don't have to do what it takes to get better. I have to realize that if a train is running over me, I was the one who stepped on the tracks. Changing the train schedule isn't the solution. I have to take responsibility for myself. Hugs, Magic