Hi Febbies,
LonelyShadow - It's always good to hear from you. I'm glad you were able to stay sober in spite of the challenges that your situation presented. I had to go to a 40th birthday party with an open bar a while back. It wasn't a heavy drinking crowd, but the hosts, my dad and his wife, who know me as a heavy drinker, wanted to make sure everyone was take care of. I made light of it, and they didn't ask again.
Fabl - It's good to hear from you too. Are you counting down to the last day of school?! I know that between kids sports and end of year activities, I am very busy til mid June.
Torn - I agree with Dee that part of my addiction is to say that my problems don't matter as much as other people's. I'm coming to realize that although addiction and codependency is less serious than, say, war, it deserves my full and rapt attention.
As my sober time grows, I notice that I was more sick, tired and disorganized than I realized. It's ironic that by getting "better" I see how sick I still am and how much more healing I have to do. When I first quit drinking, I thought, "I'm gonna go on a diet, lose weight, and run 10k's again." That didn't happen. Instead I'm seeing that recovery is a process and that my road to health hasn't been a whole lot different than most other alcoholics, at least not so far.
As for my codependency issues, sigh. Needy took a week to reply to my well thought out reply to her text, where I restated my boundaries and my wish to have a mutually enjoyable friendship. She didn't address anything I said, instead turned it into being about her son, saying "(her son) wants to know when you guys are free." As aggravated as I am by her behavior, as decisive and successful as I appear to be, I don't have the tools and skill set to know how to move on from this codependent entanglement.
I'm learning though, and as my sober time grows, things are finally starting to look up. After weeks of barely having the energy to get to work, I am finding that I have more energy to do more things with more people. I'm taking better care of my house. I'm less aggravated by my coworkers. I spend more time with my husband (although him choosing to spend that time drunk is another issue for another time). I have loads more patience with my kids, more capacity to help the mildly autistic one, in particular, process through his feelings and communication. I am leaning on junk food a little less. I'm exercising gently every day. I'm finding that my daily routine is less about self-punishment and more about self-care.
I gratefully acknowledge that I still have a long way to go in recovery, physically, emotionally and spiritually, but even with these few improvements to my life, I see absolutely no need to go back to my old way of life, drinking. I'm glad that you are all a part of my journey.