Torn I understand what you mean when you say you feel your problem is self-inflicted when others are suffering too, a friend of mine's father passed away due to cancer recently and it made me feel the same way. But it's not like you CHOSE to have a problem and it's certainly not silly, for whatever reason addiction found you and it's a very real illness.
Hope you're well Torn, I always look forward to your posts
Always very honest and thought provoking.