I have had a huge revelation
Hi to all from Australia. My wife left me about 4 months ago and left me with my 2 teenage daughters. Since then every time they go to stay at their mother's place, I hit the booze big time, and it is escalating to a point that I cannot believe how much alcohol I am consuming in each session. It is just spiralling out of control, and I am making some VERY bad decisions whilst I am highly intoxicated. I wake up the next day with such horrible and crippling feelings of shame and remorse, and promise myself I won't behave so badly next time. Of course as soon as I get drunk, the poor decisions and woeful behaviour return. Things I would never do in a million years whilst I am sober. I was walking on the beach this morning when a thought hit me like a ton of bricks. I do not make heaps of very bad decisions, I only make one very bad decision, and that is to drink alcohol. It changes me from a really nice , rational, responsible and happy person, into a complete ******* who does not give a crap about anybody or any thing. I need to totally get real and admit to myself that I have absolutely no chance of controlling my alcohol intake once I take the first drink, so need to not have that first one. I really do not want my drinking to destroy me anymore, and truly hope I can make a stand this time against my major enemy in life. I have been dishonest with myself for long enough, and need to face the brutal truth.