I believe that everyone who is in the throes of addiction really does want to quit. To say that one can't quit because they don't really want sobriety badly enough is false IMO. I think of my epiphany as a wrestling match. I wanted to quit for so long, but felt I could not. I was wrestling my addiction so to speak. It was on top, it was winning. But it only takes a split second to flip your opponent, and I did that. There were times *I* was on top, *I* was winning, only to be flipped to the bottom again.
But even a split second on top gave me enough time to get a foothold. Just enough foothold to get up and leave the ring forever...leaving my opponent there to die. Now the match is over. There is no more wrestling because I left the ring. It's over.
It's not easy to get out from under. Sometimes it seems impossible, but it's not. The strength is there within you. It will not be this hard forever, I promise.
You can do this.