Hi letitgo,
I too have a child with special needs. He has autism and is pretty significantly impaired. He has recently begun having grande mal seizures. I understand how you are feeling. Here's how I look at it: my addiction will use anything, any reason, to get me to drink or eat some klonopin, or otherwise numb out. I am not my addiction. While my addiction thinks nothing of using my son's disability as an excuse to drink, *I* find that reprehensible and disgusting. My addiction cares not of my son, me, or anything else. So, I separate from that, and honor my son and family by being fully present, throughout the good, the bad, and the ugly.