I am sorry to hear about these medical issues with your children, LetitGo. The suffering of those in our care is most difficult indeed. I hope that all goes well with them with their medical issues.
Something that helps me is to understand difficult events is that it is not about me. This is all about your children. Your children need the support of a sober parent, and your spouse needs your support too. You can't be the person they need, or the person that you need to be now either, while drinking. And drinking at God simply can't help a single thing and can only make this situation worse.
Hang in, and do what you need to do for them, and this will work out. Best to you and your family.