Originally Posted by
ScottFromWI 
Welcome to SR - we do understand and congrats on making the decision.
Regarding your two bolded statements above though, you can't have it both ways unfortunately. If you are an alcoholic, you cannot drink - ever. That includes "drinking a little on occasion". Accepting that is probably the hardest part as you are finding, but unfortunately it's the only option if you want to truly quit for good.
Thank you. As I said I may just be in denial about it. If I'm truly an alcoholic there is no in between. I'm hoping that I can get a clear head about it and work on not masking whatever issues I have elsewhere. Appreciate all the support!