First Step
I guess the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. That's what I did today when I admitted my problem with drinking to my husband. We have our issues that having nothing to do with my drinking, but it does exacerbate my emotions and how I react to situations. He has given up on our marriage pretty much and gives me a month to change.
In essence I'm not changing for him. I'm changing because my health and well being, and my son depend on my wellness. If things don't get better between us due to my sobriety, then at least I know what didn't cause it.
I know he won't support me so I turned to a community that can maybe give me some guidance. I'm still in a form of denial I guess... not willing to give up alcohol entirely... but I'm done waking up in the morning feeling awful, I'm done with spending wasted money on booze all the time, I'm done drinking every evening, I'm done with all of it. Because the high lasts 20 minutes or so and every drink after that is futile. I want to believe I can still drink a little on occasion, but who knows. Maybe I can. Or maybe I already finished my bottle.
Thanks for listening.