Someone please understand me!
Hi guys.
So this is my first time posting here but I feel like if I chat to you guys who are battling this with me and are strong individuals then I could really enneagram from the support.
So um, I'm only 21. Dropped out of college due to the fact it wasn't a full one job and it wasn't paying for my weekends. I lost my friends cos I was going out and ruining their nights coz they'd have to babysit me. I went to a party and while passed out drunk a guy sexually assaulted me. I've lost a few jobs because of this, and the anxiety since this happened has caused me to drink MORE. One night a week turned into two nights. Two nights turned into three. Three eventually turned into four with me turning to drugs to lessen the pain. Alli wanted to do was forget and feel happy again.
Now I've went and really done it now. I have THE most supportive boyfriend, and I couldn't fault a thing Alex has ever done. Met him a year ago and I love him a lot. But when I was drunk on Friday at my workmates house, I supposedly kissed some random guy while totally drunk and after cocaine and ecstasy. I can't remember this but have said to Alex I don't trust myself. WHAT do I do from here?
I know I need to stop drinking. I'm slowly but surely pushing everything I love away and replacing them with drink.
This is my first time ownin up to this. I feel a mess. Drink is my downfall.
Please help make me feel ok again.