((Chicory)) I can't help but stick with my original thoughts on your son. I see SO many members drinking because of anxiety or other mental health issues. They self medicate and it does help for a while, but eventually alcohol exacerbates the problem. When they go through withdrawal or stop drinking for a few days, their anxiety goes through the roof. Rather than seek medical attention they drink again to ease the symptoms. It's a rinse and repeat process.
Some do seek help, get medications, but drink on top of the pills. Mixing alcohol and pills never works. It's no picnic going through withdrawal, you have to want to be sober, more than you want to drink. At least that's been my experience.
Since he won't seek or admit he needs help, things will stay the same or maybe get worse. I agree with your decision to try Al-Anon. You've done your best sweet lady..it's time for you to find some inner peace and heal from your own trauma.
Do you have any idea how much he's drinking? Does he drink everyday?