Hi SkyBlue,
You know, lots of people need free lawyers, hence the abundance of legal aid societies, public defenders, and pre-paid legal MLM scams.
There are also a ton of other ways to volunteer. You could fill food boxes at your local food bank, volunteer for meals on wheels (they always need help), tutor some of those college students in your town, walk dogs at the local shelter, do highway clean up...etc. you might find that your own personal hell doesn't seem nearly as bad if you can get out of your head and do something for someone else.
You say you're open to any advice, so I'm going to say to you exactly what I would say to my daughter under the same circumstances. Suck it up Princess, you are as miserable as you choose to be, and sometimes you have no choice but to wade through ****, even your own, to get to the other side.
You can get to the other side of this, but you need to make a choice to do it. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself will not get you there.
I hope today is a better day.