Rejoice always - If meetings were helping you then I would continue attending them. I think helping others always makes us feel better. Your sharing helps other people and others sharing helps us. I was on anti depressants/anxiety meds after a nervous breakdown. I did not like the way they made me feel. Researching I found a couple books, one was the vitamin cure and the other I thing was the mood cure. I had blood work done and my vitamin d was low and cortisol was high. I am no longer on anti depressants or anxiety meds and only use vitamins. Most days I feel pretty good. Sometimes I feel down but if I do I find something to do to be around people. I try to get sunlight to help with vitamin d production. As for your children I know it must hurt but they will have to make their own choices on sobriety. Sounds like they are still in the drinking is fun set of mind. My experience is there is nothing you can say or do that will change them until they are ready change. Praying for you!!!