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Need Hope deppression bad

Old 03-26-2014, 05:07 AM
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Need Hope deppression bad

Hi, it says at the top that your records show I've never posted, but I have years back like 2006..... this isn't my first time here but it's been years. I was talking to a girlfriend of mine who has depression and anxiety and she said that yrs back when she was here sobery recovery it really helped her, so I'm hoping this can help. I hope I'm posting at the right place. I have a counselor for almost 5 yrs now... he is really sweet and wonderful but he's only 30.... and he is not helping me though he tries... I've been in and out of places for depression. I've been in aa since 2000 but I don't go anymore. Im still sober. Used to go to church, had good friends, and a very wonderful counselor for about four and a half years who really help me, was very active... I hurt my back in 2007 and it's hard for me to sit very long and that's a whole other story. I have a lot more to say on other forums about the situation with my back but I thought I would start here to introduce myself...I really feel like I have no friends left, but really I do have great friends its just they don't know how to help me anymore and I'm going through the empty nest syndrome. I have PTSD and everything is a trigger. I worry about everything, you name it I'm worried about it, especially about my children.... I blame myself, beat myself up so bad about my kids, mistakes I've made. They tell me they love me, they tell me Mom we're fine. Our lives aren't that bad, but I know there's hurting and I know they just don't want me to worry. And still I worry and I can't shut it off. My older children are alcoholics, functioning alcoholics. My son was in AA and sober for 4 months but he decided he didn't need it anymore. I have 4 children and four grandchildren. There are valid reasons why I worry about my children but I won't get into any more of it now. I really do try to visit friends, I used to have such a support system. I don't know whats happening to me. Everything that used to work just doesn't seem to sink into my head and help me anymore. I need to get back and live but I'm so scared of everything. I pray, I search for all kinds of help, things to do and nothing seems to be working, or be enjoyable, or bring joy to my heart.... so when something doesn't work it pushes me down into deeper depression hopelessness......one other thing, this depression and anxiety I have has been pretty constant for the past 3 years slowly getting worse....I just wanna be happy field you are you in live again I don't wanna live like this anymore it's too painful........Does anyone really understand or get what I'm saying....and Is there really happiness and freedom again???
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Old 03-26-2014, 05:13 AM
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Have you considered seeing a psychiatrist for anxiety/depression medication? Drugs have really helped me with depression.

Also, I know what you mean about worry. I worry incessantly about irrational things - that my husband will get into a car accident, that my kids will get terminally sick or be abducted - it's really bothersome.
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Old 03-26-2014, 05:18 AM
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Hi and welcome to the posting side of things rejoice always

This is a great bunch of people, I know you'll find support encouragement and friendship.

I'm glad you decided to reach out

D
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Old 03-26-2014, 05:28 AM
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hi free thinking soon after I got sober I saw Dr I've been on antidepressants and such for years.....lately I don't know what's going on and I have switched and tried others......sometimes I wonder about these medications sometimes I wish I would never even started on them...... it's been my big question for years did they really work or are they making this worse I don't know but thanks for the input and thanks dee for the welcome....
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Old 03-26-2014, 09:56 AM
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Welcome back to SR!

Have you ever been evaluated for being bipolar? I was treated for depression for several years and tried all kinds of different drugs. None of them worked for very long. When I was diagnosed as being bipolar, my psychiatrist told me that many bipolar people are misdiagnosed as having depression and that being on antidepressants can actually make the situation worse.

I'm no doctor but it's just a suggestion.

Best of luck!
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Old 03-26-2014, 11:11 AM
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First, let me say the obvious things which may be all too familiar to you. Have you received medical help for this? Some antidepressants work better than others and much depends on the particular individual and the medication. Most of the literature with which I am familiar seems to say that the best way to approach this is a combination of medication and counseling. If one counselor doesn't work try another. Same thing for medications. Obviously, since alcohol is a depressant it makes depression worse and also interferes with antidepressants.
How about support groups? There must be support groups for those who are depressed. SR is also the best place I have encountered on the internet.
Depression runs in my family. I take an antidepressant and that helps. Also I worry a lot over small things or things which I have no control over. As for having supposedly "made mistakes" with raising kids, show me the "perfect parent"! If you find one you might discover that he or she has a very imperfect kid. Who can do anything about the influence of the schools, of the culture, etc.? Do you enjoy doing anything? If so then do more of that. Don't beat up on yourself. Smile and the world smiles with you. Sounds trite but it's true.
Find someone else who's depressed and try to help them out with a laugh. O.K. Start with this, "A woman rushes into a drug store and screams to the druggist, 'My baby! My baby! He's swallowed a 22 caliber rifle bullet! What shall I do?" The druggist says, "No problem! (Hands her a bottle of castor oil) and says "Give him this! BUT DON'T POINT HIM AT ANYBODY!"

W.
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Old 04-25-2014, 08:28 AM
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Hi again, ty for your ideas... right now Im at my cousins for a couple of days cause I woke up with such deep depression.... I feel so so, cause Im not alone... Im even afraid to go home... so I hope to get back to meetings on a regular basis... you know what AA says... we come for drinking we stay for our thinking... so Im praying it helps me.... and I hope to continue coming here because you all seem so compassiate and understanding. Ty wpainter, but I cant even laugh anymore... and I come from a very funny family... Oh God help me get joy back in my life!!!
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Old 04-25-2014, 09:02 AM
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Rejoice always - If meetings were helping you then I would continue attending them. I think helping others always makes us feel better. Your sharing helps other people and others sharing helps us. I was on anti depressants/anxiety meds after a nervous breakdown. I did not like the way they made me feel. Researching I found a couple books, one was the vitamin cure and the other I thing was the mood cure. I had blood work done and my vitamin d was low and cortisol was high. I am no longer on anti depressants or anxiety meds and only use vitamins. Most days I feel pretty good. Sometimes I feel down but if I do I find something to do to be around people. I try to get sunlight to help with vitamin d production. As for your children I know it must hurt but they will have to make their own choices on sobriety. Sounds like they are still in the drinking is fun set of mind. My experience is there is nothing you can say or do that will change them until they are ready change. Praying for you!!!
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Old 04-25-2014, 09:14 AM
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I think it would be a good idea to talk to your dr about medication. When you have depression that is affecting your life long-term, you may find that medication helps a lot.
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Old 04-25-2014, 01:35 PM
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I would say get a new counselor. if he is not helping try someone else.

We are here for you, even if you just need to vent or just need a friend.
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