You're not wasting anybody's time at all.
I'm glad you posted. I think one of the worst things about alcoholism is how it destroys us emotionally. We begin to dislike ourselves and end up hating and loathing ourselves, hence the drinking cycle continues. Try to take a step back and know that alcoholism is not a character defect. You are not a bad person. You need to stop the cycle, and it won't be easy, but you need to do it.
I always say that I think the motivation to stop drinking is more important than the method you choose to do so.