Welcome to SR!
Looks like you had a similar experience with Alcohol than most of us here.
I know it can be scary to face life without Alcohol when it was our best friend for so many years. But a real friend would not want us dead.
Alcohol is hideous and creeps in our life's promising happiness but never delivers on that promise. Having sucked our financial resources, health, relationships we are left with the reality that life can be more than empty bottles.
I am back on day one after I had the brilliant idea of listening to my addiction.
You too can make this your day 1.