Forgiveness ?????????????
What does that really mean? I think many have their own way of dealing with this. I think it depends on the circumstances and the situations.
When I left my ex I had to learn forgiveness. Why? I don't want to forgive him for what he did, he hurt me, he was abusive to me, he hit me.
I needed to forgive at this time to release the poisons that I had in my own body by remembering this. I forgave him to help me.
It didn't meant I forgave and forgot. It meant I needed to do this for me. I couldn't, wouldn't, didn't want to hold all of that anger in me anymore, I needed to let it go.
I would think that you might be at this stage now. I'm not sure though.
Then I needed to work on me. I needed to learn to forgive myself, and also to recognize the parts that I was playing in it. I needed to forgive myself, so that I could learn how to love myself.
Then I needed to bring the 2 of those together. I can now forgive my ex for his abusiveness, doesn't mean that I will forget it, it means I can still have compassion and love for him, but that he cannot be in my life. I can also now try to live my life the best that I can.
I think the first step, which I do think that you are going through is so important, because I don't think that you can work through the anger, disappointment, the obsessiveness that especially I had, without the initial forgiving. Just look at it like you are releasing the poisons from your body so that you can do your own healing.
(((((((((hugs))))))))