40days sober blues
Let me start by saying i live in a full house. I'm in my room i was in high school. Have two families living here. My mom, sister, and i; and then my brother, his wife, and their two small girls. Its very frustrating because my mom and sister-in-law do not get along and fight all the time. So my full house is a high stress environment and a drinking trigger for me. Needless to say, i am having a very hard time keeping my temptations at bay. I haven't relapsed yet but there's a high chance i could. My brother is a self medicator with weed and booze. Every night he gets drunk and i sit there and oogle at his pretty beers and wine. I've been to ten aa meetings in the past week which are also my first aa meetings ever. I have mixed emotions about them. I feel like the meetings help but then i also feel like it's a bunch of bull. Shoo I'm playing tug of war in my head because i want to drink soo bad but then i remember the bad things that happened when i drank and i don't want those things in my life. Maybe i need to see a psychologist. *Humph*