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Old 04-22-2014, 08:28 AM   #1 (permalink)

Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Chicago suburbs
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40days sober blues

Let me start by saying i live in a full house. I'm in my room i was in high school. Have two families living here. My mom, sister, and i; and then my brother, his wife, and their two small girls. Its very frustrating because my mom and sister-in-law do not get along and fight all the time. So my full house is a high stress environment and a drinking trigger for me. Needless to say, i am having a very hard time keeping my temptations at bay. I haven't relapsed yet but there's a high chance i could. My brother is a self medicator with weed and booze. Every night he gets drunk and i sit there and oogle at his pretty beers and wine. I've been to ten aa meetings in the past week which are also my first aa meetings ever. I have mixed emotions about them. I feel like the meetings help but then i also feel like it's a bunch of bull. Shoo I'm playing tug of war in my head because i want to drink soo bad but then i remember the bad things that happened when i drank and i don't want those things in my life. Maybe i need to see a psychologist. *Humph*
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Old 04-22-2014, 08:34 AM   #2 (permalink)
bona fido dog-lover
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: eastern USA
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Have you considered counseling with an addiction specialist? I see a counselor and it's been a tremendous help to me in all aspects of my life.
I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley

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Old 04-22-2014, 04:06 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hi and welcome kellygurl1711

That doesn't sound like a great situation for you or your family. I'm assuming there's reasons why you can't move out?

If you're stuck with this domestic situation I think you're really going to have to beef up your support. you'll certainly find a lot here - post as much as you need to.

I'm not sure whether you think AA is a 'bunch of bull' or your addiction does - what do you think KellyGurl?

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Old 04-22-2014, 04:19 PM   #4 (permalink)

Join Date: Apr 2014
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You're doing amazing for being in such a bad environment for stress. Imagine how great you'll be doing once you're in a positive atmosphere. The previous posters covered my other questions I was going to ask, but I just wanted to encourage you to acknowledge to yourself how strong you've been through this whole period and just ride it out as you have been.
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Old 04-22-2014, 04:20 PM   #5 (permalink)
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meetings only help us find a sponsor or a sponsee

the steps are the program of real recovery
Someday it will all make sense, so laugh at confusion, smile through tears,
& remind yourself it All happens for a reason.

All Big Book quotes are from the 1st edition.
Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Sober since May 16, 2011
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Old 04-22-2014, 06:44 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Finding people who are just like us has made a difference for me in my recovery. That is why I like SR. Face to face meetings are also really helpful for some people. I'm glad you are reaching out here on SR! It is tough growing up in a family where there is so much using going on. Hang strong!
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