Hugs to you NT, and more hugs.
When you feel triggered, please reach out to us; the Febbies are solidly in your corner. AA sounds like a good idea to me, also. I have never been to a meeting but I haven't ruled it out as a resource. In fact, if I could get my sister to agree to go, I would go all-in in a second but she is still trying desperately to make moderation work and we all know how that goes.
More hugs, NT.