Originally Posted by FireSprite

I think you are doing beautifully readerbaby, you really handled this well. I think Carlotta's advice about staying focused on your own recovery & redlanta's about staying aware of red flags were spot-on too. But judging by the way you handled this you are keeping that all in mind so far. It's like riding a wave isn't it? You want to brace yourself for potential impact but not so tightly that you get knocked sideways, losing the ability to roll with it, fighting for control against every little tug of the tide.

I struggle with "appropriate" detachment too - the line between supportive & enabling. RAH is struggling this week - he hits a milestone bday which he seems bittersweet about in light of all the chaos he is facing in his life and his grandma passed away a couple of days ago. They weren't close & he has always struggled with love vs. obligation & it is always compounded for him in times of guilt or grief. So I want to be supportive, sure. But he is also internalizing a lot of it right now so I can't do much more than just give him time & space..... which is easy in theory but I've been needing a lot of that myself lately since I have not been getting enough of either over the last few months.... it's hard to strike a balance when you factor in DD, etc.

I ran across this video & have watched it about 32 times since, lol:

The Power of Empathy ~ Dr. Brene Brown
RSA Shorts - The Power of Empathy - YouTube

I was going to post a new thread about it but I just haven't had a chance. To me it was super helpful, especially for a 2-min clip. It helped me see the definition of empathy from a slightly different perspective & how it is a non-judgemental way of supporting others.... which to me is pretty parallel to my definition to "detachment". I also find her background interesting - she is a research professor that specializes in the studies of vulnerability, courage, worthiness & shame. Very interesting.

I hope you are having a Happy Easter!