I had something like that happen to me a few weeks ago, and I posted about it in my thread here:
Originally Posted by
BlueChair 
A few updates:
4. I get home, and he’s been drinking. Had a bottle of wine open and half was gone. Not drunk. He didnt hide it, and went off on how he is depressed, frustrated at work because he hasn’t earned back their trust and isnt being given enough responsibility, he feels underutilized, wants to quit, is tired of it all. He asked me to have a glass with him and I said no, not like this. Hes not even supposed to mix alcohol with the antidepressant. He drank another glass and poured the rest out, apologized for not being perfect, and stared at me I think for comfort, but what can I say. I told him I dont expect perfection, but drinking wont help and he knows this. It wont make the stress of work, or problems with his boss go away for more than a few hours, he needs lasting solutions. I said how do you think you can handle something stressful at work when there is a lot at stake when you cant handle the stress of being bored? I told him his boss was trying to protect him because hes not showing he’s ready for more responsibility and the pressure comes with it. I told him I loved him and he was smarter than this to deal with his pain by drinking. Its one thing to drink but he is doing it to avoid life and its wrong, it will make him weaker in the end. Then he cried and said he was sorry, he’s hurting and doesnt know what to do, nothing makes it better. Im not mad at him, I feel his pain and it makes me sad. He fell asleep on the couch with me.
5. We both went to work like normal and I did ok with my own emotions. Im not unhappy with anything I said to him, he took it all in stride and we had an honest talk back and forth. It could have turned into a fight, with one of us shutting down, Im not giving into my own fears, and wont make more out of this than it was. I talked to my mom, a couple of my friends here on SR, and made it only a piece of my day.
After that we decided to go away for the weekend with some friends, all sober activities and both had a great time.
My counselor, and family counselor were both proud of each of us for how we handled it, and the next week he did talk to his counselor about it, was honest like BF was
YOU DID GREAT((READERBABY)).
I dont really understand about the whole idea of needing to detach too much my counselors never told me to do it, but I try to be authentic in our relationship like I always was, and thankfully he gives back. Feels like a two way street or I guess it wouldnt work. If its like that with your BF, dont let it go !