marobl79

Well let me just say I've been digging into everything I can get my hands on over the last month. I have three children, one of them is a baby and I am currently living with my AH. Everyday used to be a struggle, but I am learning to take things one day at a time and releasing all my anger and resentment letting my HP take control over everything. I still struggle daily and have to repeat to myself over and over again that its not my fault and I can't do anything about it right now. He stops drinking for a few days at a time and says he will not drink M-F and only on weekends so I know he is still in denial. I have struggled with the decision to leave or stay for years and beat myself up for being in this exact situaon I was in 5-6 years ago, now with a new person in the equation. I went to my first Alanon meeting Thursday and going to another one tonight. AH isn't too happy about that and its not my problem but its still so difficult to say I will go no matter what he thinks because its not about him its about ME. So I know I'm making progress because my thinking is slowly changing but I still have so many doubts, and hopes because I haven't completely lost all expectations for him changing.

I find myself looking at people I know in everyday life wondering "could they be an alcholic" because if you look at anyone-my husband you will never know because he is the most friendliest person you will meet, but he has this HUGE problem that not many people know about.

Did anyone else find they were analyzing everyone? Is it really possible to remain in the marriage and keep your sanity? and most importantly no one can answer how will my children be affected if I stay or if I go? I always said in wouldn't end up like my mother. But here I am.