Hi Dixie,
Isn't it wonderful to realize that the disease is lying to us. Therefore you already know the outcome an feel a lot more prepared to face the urges.
Think also about this: if you're hurting and to drink to relieve it, not only would you have not solved anything but you'd have added a second problem at the bottom of the bottle, and this one could hurt even more.
My thoughts are with you ((((Dixie))))