Yikes. I forget what it was like, living with the questions circle: 'is he sober? Where was he? Was he drinking? Do I say anything? If he responds, do I believe him? Do I interrogate or should I ignore him? Who was he with? Why am I asking myself so many questions? Is it my imagination? Am I being difficult? Have I always been difficult? Maybe I should just say nothing before I start a big fight. I will go put the children to bed. But is he sober? Where was he? Should I let him read to the children or will he pass out again? When he passes out what do I do? Leave him lying there, in which case he'll be angry when he wakes up, or wake him up and he'll be angry anyway? Or is he just tired and I am just being difficult? Why am I so difficult? Why do I keep asking myself all these questions?...'
Sorry rb, your post triggered me. Sorry you have all this hard work to deal with! I hope this goes in the direction that will be the most positive for you!