Originally Posted by readerbaby71

Another thing the therapist said really affected me. When I told him that I decided to be completely hands off when SO came back from rehab, he asked me why. I told him it was the whole detachment thing, that SO is a adult and can handle his own recovery. Even though I saw this coming from a mile away I didn't say much. The therapist said there is a balance between detaching and being who you are. He asked, "are you usually totally hands off in your relationships with people?" I said, "no, of course not." He said that I could say something without telling SO what to do and to not change who I am just because I think I'm supposed to be completely detached. Jeez, this **** is hard. It makes me realize what an issue all-or-nothing (addictive) thinking is for me. Great....something else to work on!