Clearlight, I was simply sharing my personal experience as was requested by the OP. I understand and respect that your experience is different than mine. I never once made an anti med generalization so I don't get what you're on about. You might consider returning the same respect.
I'd also like to address your comment that the western world is all about pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. While I would agree that westerners seem to focus a lot on "doing things on your own", I think that westerners actually have more of a desire to avoid any sort of pain or sadness altogether than any other culture. In contrast, eastern philosophies tend to teach sitting with discomfort, not avoiding or eliminating since that's impossible anyway.
I have no judgement on what others do. I simply shared that my experience with medication was not good. I have experienced clinical depression, ongoing for many years. I wasn't a mild case at all, in fact I've been hospitalized because of my mental health, so I do understand depression. In fact, I fully understand wanting to die, actually taking steps to carry that out as I did.
I will say again that I feel more like myself these last 7 years than I have my whole life. That's just my experience. That has nothing to do with your experience.