Trepidation
So, after quite a while of no contact suddenly my ex is sending strange emails to the gallery that houses my paintings. He always claimed I was not a painter...that I had somehow stolen them...even though I had painted many paintings right in front of him. Part of my arguments to him to get him to see reality was: GO TO THE GALLERY and see for yourself. The gallery itself is aware of the situation with him, as I am close to the owners and should he ever show up there, they will let him tour the painting gallery and then ask him to leave. He has not ever attempted to do so, though.
The last couple of weeks have been strange. I have been numb, as usual, exhausted by all of this, and finally felt like I was inching toward a new normal. The nightmares had let up somewhat and I was starting to sleep more than an hour at a time before waking up to stare at the wall. It felt like finally I was moving forward, getting past this horrible situation I had been through. The gallery contacted me this weekend to tell me my ex had sent some strange juvenile emails on the contact page of their website, mostly just derogatory emoticons, nothing much. We all decided no response was best, and moved forward as if it had not happened. There was another email from him to the gallery a few days later, something simple, they didn't tell me what it said, but that it was unimportant, nothing major, more useless nonsense. Then last night, apparently he sent some sort of love poem he found on the internet, sent it through their contact form. Its clear he meant it for me, there was no other reason to send such a thing. The poem was written by an amateur on some social networking site (gallery owners googled lines from it so this is how I know), and doesn't make a lot of sense to any of us. None of us know what to make of this. As the hours go by and the weekend approaches, I am growing increasingly nervous. Of course, I am not going to reach out and question him. The gallery owners have taken the same road, non approach, no response, because after all, the email he last sent was simply a poem, not a question, not a request for info, not even any sort of a statement or diatribe against me or even them. Its just very odd. And it scares me.
I keep thinking that he is going to show up. I dunno what to think honestly. He could have easily sent me the email. I never blocked him, I told you guys I wouldn't. I had been under the impression he had traipsed off to wherever and continued his boozing and what have you with someone else who enjoyed being a doormat for him. I figured I was long gone out of his mind. I have no idea what I am hoping you all will say, here, I guess I am just scared out of my wits and need some support. I have been shaking ever since being informed of the latest email. The gallery has told me that if I should choose not to attend the weekly Friday night event this week, they will understand. I am all a mishmash of feelings right now, but the main one is just trepidation. Ugh.