I learned SO much from this site...more than I ever dreamed I would. But, I also know my head was spinning for awhile trying to "fix" myself and cramming as much as I could into my head. It only seemed to make things more confusing.
Take everything one step at a time. What's your first step? (I so wanted to tell you what I thought you should do---and, then decided maybe you should decide that for yourself.
We codies - we just don't know how to quit!) What's the most important thing here? Definitely some space away from him will help you clarify at least what your immediate needs are and what you need to do for yourself and your kids.
Right now, his needs don't matter to you. He's a grown man with the capability to change his life, keep drinking, whatever he wishes to do.
Change how you are reacting to what he's doing and go NC. That will bring you all the answers you need.